There are Days When I Don’t Like My Dogs.

There are days when I don’t like my dogs.

Human moms have told me stories of locking themselves in their bedroom or a bathroom to cry when their kids aren’t behaving. Yeah. So today was kind of like that.

Morning Calisthenics with Dogs

Things started off like normal. By which I mean both dogs going beserker as soon as I picked up slip leads. They are jumping and whirling in circles, with Tammy attempting to put the Vulcan hold on Doug’s neck, using her mouth.

Once leashed and out the door, it’s cat and squirrel time. My neighborhood has an abundance of both.

Fun Fact: Harris County actually has a leash law for cats. Cats are legally not allowed to roam outside your yard. Yup. Good luck with that.

Tammy’s nicknames are Tammy the Tank Engine, Tammy the Tenacious, and Tammy the Terror. Unfortunately, she is built like, as my dad used to say, “a brick shit-house.” Strong and low to the ground, she does zero to end-of-leash in microseconds. She doesn’t bark, she squeals. Prey drive is out of control.

Today I got treated to the joy of one dog going after a cat and the other choosing the rodent route. I ended up ankle deep in a mud puddle. My shoes are still in the kitchen sink after rinsing them off.

Afternoon Delight

Not that kind. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Working from my home office, I heard a ripping noise from the other room, then an ominous silence followed by one loud sqeeeeeak.

That would be the new toy I took out this morning, which is now de-stuffed, and de-squeaked.

You can get these toys at Costco in a dog toy 3-pack. Guess who’s going back to Costco this weekend?

Dog Mom 101: Always reward bad dog behavior in the morning with a new toy in the afternoon.

Evening Events

Returning from dinner, my dogs exuberantly greeted me at the door. Doug dog was first to greet me. “Helloooo mommy, I thought you were gone forever!” as he jumped up on my bare legs.

So now I look like I had a date with Wolverine.

As the sky started to take on an odd glow and thunder rumbled in the distance, I settled down to write this blog.

Crazy barking erupted from the yard. The dogs were letting me know that there are people — yes, people — on the road in front of my house, walking. How dare they.

Later tonight, I’ll get to shoo my dogs away from the possum that makes his way across my fence top around 10pm every night.

The dogs have jumped within a foot of grabbing him. Posse the Possum just looks at them nonchalantly. In my mind I hear, “Is that all you got?”

Snuggle Buddies

When we settle in for the night, my two puppers will be there with me.

Doug will stay up near the pillows until I settle in, at which point he escapes for his dog bed. Tammy quickly takes his spot. Her look of contentment is almost human. “I won. I’m mommy’s favorite.”

Ok, so they aren’t all bad.

And hey, I won them in my divorce. So I’m keeping them. But that’s another story. #doggosbeforediamonds